Words to Sunny

Published on 4 August 2023 at 19:58

After yet another OB appointment, not much had progressed aside from being 1cm dilated. Sunny's heart rate was still strong, in the 130's and she continued to be active as ever!


Since people all over the world had been praying for our daughter and for us, I felt like I should share an update on social media:


"2 weeks...2 weeks until we get to meet you, Sunny. 2 weeks until we face the inevitable outcome of what we have been preparing for. We are so looking forward to holding you and loving on you, even though we know it may only be for a few short minutes. I don't think anything can prepare a parent to endure this kind of pain.

What we know - you are indeed small, but mighty! You have shocked us all with your toughness little girl. The doctors and I, admittedly, are so surprised we have made it to this point and here we are.

Your life will matter. Your life is going to make a difference and will be so impactful. Maybe not in the way of a flawless, well-executed message or presentation. It won't be through some renowned best-selling book or big, momentous occasion.

But it will be in the form of a 4-pound baby girl who God is using to reveal His goodness. What an honor it is to carry you. What an honor it is to be your mama. And so, we will carry on through these next 2 weeks knowing God always has the final say. We are so excited to meet you, baby girl."


A letter I wrote to Sunny:


How do I feel about this? I am sad. I think I will always be sad about this...about you. But I believe I am at a point of acceptance. I feel ready. I am certainly ready to meet you and hold you. I am ready to give you snuggles and kisses. I'm ready to welcome you into this world even though I may soon after have to give you back. I am ready for you to meet your daddy, big brother and big sister. I am ready to see God's plan for your life unfold, even if it's difficult for me to watch. I'm ready to see how your little 3 pound, 11 ounce body impacts this world and all of the people you will touch. I'm willing to start moving into the stages of grief and mourning - I'm not ready, but I am willing. I know we will never be ready to say goodbye to your earthly body - I would hold on to you forever if I had my way. I know though, that you were never mine to begin with - you were always His. He will take care of us - He will take care of you. We love you, baby girl.


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