Our Labor Story

Published on 4 August 2023 at 20:02

It was one week until induction day and we went in for what would be our final ultrasound. Our little fighter seemed to have stopped growing - she was still weighing in around 3lb, 10oz which is what she weighed the week prior. Additionally, the amount of fluid around her had increased and my BP was abnormally higher. Because of these factors, we had decided to move our induction to that afternoon.


After making sure arrangements were in place for our kids and packing our hospital bags, we sat our kids down and gently filled them in on what was going to happen - at this point, our kids were pros at the "sit-downs". When our son asked for one final "snuggle" with Sunny, my heart melted. He wrapped his little arm around my huge belly and after a few moments of snuggling, we said our goodbyes and gave our kids extra big hugs before departing for the hospital.


When I tell you that my labor with Sunny was absolutely beautiful, I'm sure a lot of people would think I'm crazy. But it really was for a few reasons.


We arrived at the hospital around 2:30pm with a few of Sunny's things - swaddles, pacifiers, stuffed animals that we lovingly picked out for her and a whole lot of prayers from people all over the country. We filled out paperwork and got settled. Things didn't get real until a few hours later.


Around 5:30pm, the nurses started Pitocin and my OB inserted a balloon to start manually dilating my cervix. The original plan was to keep the balloon in for anywhere between 4-12 hours and then allow my body to take over. A few hours later, I decided it was time to get an epidural. While we were getting situated and waiting for the anesthesiologist, I felt a sudden sharp pain followed by a warm trickle down my leg. I said to the nurse, "Ohp, I think I peed!" What followed, was what seemed like literal gallons of fluid gushing out. This was thing of beauty #1. I had never experienced my water breaking on its own - was it glamorous like in the movies? Heck no. But, I was able to experience it.


After receiving the epidural, it was late and I was encouraged to sleep and to prevent myself from keeping my peepers glued to Sunny's heart monitor. I knew that wasn't going to happen so for the next few hours, while keeping my eye on her heart rate, I shifted from side to side with my new best bud - the peanut pillow. My blood pressure had been taken every couple of minutes and when it suddenly dropped along with Sunny's heart rate, the nurses reassured me that it was probably because she didn't like all of the change happening. Sunny had lost her "hot tub" and she wasn't too fond of the epidural either.


At one point, in the very early morning, I dozed off for a few minutes. Shortly after, I was awoken by what I remember as a loud thump noise. In hindsight, I believe it was God telling me that Sunny was growing tired and was ready to run to His arms. I immediately glanced at her heart monitor and noticed 3 little dash marks instead of a number indicating her heart rate was not detected. I watched this for what seemed like an eternity. One of my nurses walked in and calmly asked if she could go ahead and check my cervix. What she said next was thing of beauty #2. She said I was FULLY dilated - I was at 10 centimeters! I had never heard these words before. She also said that she could feel Sunny's head and it was full of hair! She was ready to come out.


The nurses notified my OB that it was time and proceeded to check for her heartbeat.


I knew in my heart that Sunny was with Jesus.


She fought and fought for several months, but she was tired. Her strong, but tiny heart had stopped.


I only pushed for a matter of minutes. This was thing of beauty #3. The act of pushing out a baby - it brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my face every time I think about this moment; it was special and unique between only me and Sunny. God gave me the ability to deliver Sunny vaginally and it was beautiful. During my final push, I felt a gush of liquid and I knew she was out.


Sunny was born into Heaven at 2:59am on July 6, 2023. She was 3 pounds and 8 ounces.


As my little love was placed on my chest, I immediately cried out to God. I had known she was already with Jesus, but nothing prepares you for something like that. I lost it. I sobbed. I remember helplessly calling out for Mike, but knew there was nothing either of us could do, but hold her and love on her. I held her warm, tiny body and just started telling her everything I would have wanted her to know:


I told that her I loved her and I was proud of her. I told her that she did so good and fought so hard. I reassured her that she was with Jesus and she was safe. I told her that she was now big and brave in Heaven. I told her she was our little angel baby. I told her that she was so incredibly wanted and loved.


As I held her, I realized just how badly I was going to miss her physical body. She had the most kissable lips and tiny button nose. She had a full head of black hair with some little hairs still covering her body. She had the best little feet and I was obsessed with her perfect gumdrop toes.


The level of care, empathy and professionalism every nurse and staff member demonstrated deserves all of our praise...forever. The nurses carefully gave Sunny a bath and asked if we would like a diaper put on her. They swaddled her and put a little hat with a bow on her head so she was snug and warm.


Shortly after, Mike delivered the news to our family in the waiting room. Our kids came in first. They walked in proudly donning the yellow outfits they had picked out to wear to welcome their baby sister. They were sad, but unafraid. You could tell they were immensely proud of their little sis, but they knew they would have to wait until they got to Heaven to meet her.


My parents and in-laws came in shortly after. When I was alone with my mom for a moment, it was like I was back to being a little girl again. As I sobbed in her arms, I asked her how I was supposed to do this. I told her the pain was too unbearable and my heart was broken. I told her that I didn't have it in me to go through this. She gently responded, "Yes you do."


Our pastor had made the midnight drive to the hospital to baptize Sunny. She was with Jesus. She was home.

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